Some advice from me to you; foods to avoid on a first date.

12 Nov

Eating can be hard work! When you add in other elements, such as trying to look desirable, trying to showcase your manners, and trying to keep up conversation, well that increases the difficulty level rating to sky-high. When we go on first dates (or second or third dates) we are usually on our best behaviour; trying to put our best foot forward. Most of the time, those first dates are based around meals. So here is a little advice for you, avoid the following foods or specific dishes whilst on a date. Save these messy splurges for meals with your friends or family members.

1/ Any noodle-based soup, such as ramen, laksa, or pho.

Why? Because it is basically impossible to eat a noodle-based soup and walk away without splatter marks all over your clothes (especially not good if you splurged on a new outfit for said-date). Perhaps I’m just a messy eater but I’ve also gotten soup in my eye on the odd occasion (from slurping up noodles) and with all the balancing of slippery noodles onto chopsticks, it’s just too difficult. Try something else.

Walk away from noodle-based soups, unless you are proficient with chopsticks and slippery noodles.

2/ Sushi rolls.

Why? Because over-sized sushi rolls are easily one of the hardest things to eat without looking completely disgusting. The problem with the over-sized ones is that you don’t really know from the menu which rolls are going to be the extra large, too-big-to-shove-in-your-face ones. Once it arrives you are left staring down this large roll that you then have to get to your mouth with chopsticks (not a problem if you can use them proficiently) and chew it down to a more user-friendly size. To add weight to my argument, I almost choked on a sushi roll just this week, as the seaweed got stuck in my throat – gagging at the table is not something you want to do your first date. It was certainly not my finest hour.

3/ Beard Papas Cream Puffs.

Why? Because that custard is going to end up everywhere! Just don’t do it. I know you want to and I completely understand, they taste incredible. But what is really going to happen is that in your blissful Beard Papas/I-gotta-date state you are going to forget that this shit is messy and one bite could have you covered with a blob of vanilla custard. If you are like me, then your face will be covered, sometimes your hair finds its way into the custard, and really there is just no delicate way to eat them. Steer clear.

Beard Papa’s…it should be pretty obvious how this is going to end.

4/ Maenam’s Grilled Thai Sausage and Crispy Rice Salad.

Why? I love Maenam. It’s a great date place, but just do not order this dish. With its combination of fermented Thai sausage (burp central) and garlic and shallots, you are not getting a kiss if you eat this dish. Even copious amounts of teeth brushing, mouth wash, and gum won’t clear away the evidence. Don’t get me wrong, the salad is awesome but save it for a night when you don’t want to end your night with a make-out session, such as dinner with a friend.

Trust me, don’t do it, or it’s no kisses for you!

5/ Ribs.

Why? It doesn’t matter how good they taste, there is no way to be elegant and delicate when tearing flesh from a bone. And now you have to deal with all that meat that has wedged itself between your teeth. Nu-uh. Avoid.

Fat Dragon’s delicious Crispy Beef Dry Ribs.

Happy eating and happy dating!

Are there any foods that you avoid like the plague on a first date? Does anyone have any eating horror stories to share?

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